Tim Oakes

Made to make you think

Saturday, July 08, 2006

40 years +

So after much time of mourning I've just about come to terms with our exit from the world cup. I could analyse our tactics and approach joining the long list of critics but I have nothing new to add so I won't waste your time. The biggest disappointment for me is the significant lack of hope. Normally we gracefully bow out of a world cup with a rubbish team and the future can only be an improvement fuelling our belief that it's just 4 small years until the world is ours! Unfortunately this time I feel like we had the greatest starting 11 we've ever had. On an individual basis we had a host of, widely recognized, world class players. Whether you blame the manager, the individuals who didn't perform or any number of refereeing blunders - we simply got it all wrong.

Before I burst into tears and consider marrying a foreign bride in the hope that I might see the nation I represent actually win a world cup in my lifetime I'll allow Mr Crouch to put a smile on my face. Peter Crouch - Disco King and Silky Skills Legend.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Justice... of a sort!

So it was nearly three months ago I was photographed speeding. Not unusal in modern day and I probably throurghly deserve a fine but I was annoyed because at the time I was driving the work van. Although it's a Merc it really struggles to hit 70 on a motorway and much less up hills. Anyway I managed (for about 5 seconds) to top 80 in it on the one and only occasion I have driven it and unfortunately a speed camera was there to verify my claims. After alot of anxious waiting the ticket finally arrived and so I thought I had nothing to lose I was going to explain the situation. The biggest kiss ass letter I have ever written but I guess someone read my story with sympathy and today I recieved the confirmation that they will not be taking my prosecution any further!

So my advice in getting out of speeding fines:

Don't lie and admit you were wrong and very naughty.

Express your upset and embarrassment that you are now a criminal.

Happen to be driving a charity owned vehicle.


Friday, May 26, 2006

Goings On

I haven't posted for ages and feel compelled to just in case Jonny M strikes me off his friends list for inactivity! I don't have anything profound or thought provoking so heres my news, or significant lack of it:

It's that time of year where I attempt to prove my intelligence by guessing exam questions and doing as little revision as my conscience allows me. I only have 4 exams this term instead of the 5 I've become used to but it still seems alot. I think I could convince myself that even if I just had one exam somehow someone somewhere would be getting it easier than me but on reflection it could be worse. A mixed bag for subjects but with my first exam just a few days away I'm swiftly realisng that we haven't been taught all that we should have. Time to pull my finger out and get studying.

My final exam is on June 10th which means that I get to walk out of my exam wearing my england shrit with pride as we then take on the filth of Paraguay. Thats about the only saving grace of my exam timetable, it finishes as the world cup starts.

I don't want to get my hopes up but I really feel there is something special about 2006 for English football. It'll probably be the year remembered for the worst ever national performance ever seen but at least if I think that I won't be too disappointed. And on that note who are peoples predictions for world cup glory?

I think too many people have neglected Argentina and I also feel it's about time Spain matched the quality their squad always shows. I'm going out on a limb to say that Brazil won't do it. I don't think their defense is solid enough and any one of the top 6 teams could beat them with a good organised display. Brazil to go out in the semi's.

Anyway I'm beginning to ramble but I'll be back once the stress of exams and football has passed.

Friday, April 21, 2006

What was it like?

Liz Hinds bellows from the crowds. Well making the choice to leave a plane at 12000ft is not something that is easily expressed in words but I'll try.

Six of us were jumping from Linden and I think it's fair to say I was by far the most worried about doing it. Somehow everyone else veiled themselves with a thin veneer of confidence and excitement but I'm sure they all soiled themselves at some point! We had to go in pairs and (being the real men that we are) Ben and I went last. After a long wait and lots of weather holds we got kitted up and signed further legal disclaimers. It was just prior to boarding the plane that I over heard Barry (my instructor with 25 years military experience) sharing how it was just last year he had ‘lost’ one his boys in America! It’s not exactly what you hope to hear before you do this for the first time. As we started our ascent my fear turned to excitement. Prior to out exit height we quickly learnt the skydivers handshake. I guess it’s for good luck, not that I believe that a lucky handshake can make a difference, but it’s not a time to put it to the test!

At this point all straps got very tight and I got closer to Barry than I maybe would have liked. In the words of the spice girls, two became one! Still feeling excited we shuffled to the door where I then had to lift my feet off the floor… A small expletive did pop out but I am still a Christian! And we jumped. The speed at which you travel is out of this world and something that nobody tells you is just how cold it is but it was such a rush. After the chute had been deployed we graciously floated for around 5 minutes where we executed a text book landing. Ben flopped on his arse but I could have been James Bond in a tux ready for a candle lit dinner!

There’s a rumour that Sue Brown (Ben’s lovely mum) enjoyed it so much she is thinknig of getting her licence and going solo!

Pictures will be on the way soon.

Thursday, April 06, 2006


So in under two weeks I'm jumping out of a plane. Not coz I'm crazy but because I'm trying to do a good thing. As the date races toward me I'm increasingly thinking of ways that I can pull out but I know I can't. At the point when I'm sitting in a plane at 15,000 feet with the door wide open a nice man is going to say, "Do you want to do this". Hmmm let me think... NO! Obviously I'm much to proud to back out and it'll be my pride that takes me to the doorway but I know from experience I'm going to end up screaming like a little girl. The question is: How can I do I stop myself screaming?!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Please Sponsor Me!

I'm sure many of you will know but I'm due to be doing a parachute jump on easter bank holiday monday. Believe me I'm not doing this because I want to but because I thought it would be a good idea to help us raise money for a fantastic project in Zambia. There are 8 of us jumping and we're all raising money for Mutende Children's Village in the north of Zambia. I visited Mutende at easter last year and as I can't afford to go back this year I'm desperate to raise as much money as i possibly can. Along with the parachute jump and other fundraising events we are hoping to get £15000 to pay for the next phase of building work at the orphange. I've set my sights on raising £1000. There's no pressure but this is a super good cause and if you can sponsor me even just a pound I'd love you all the more for it.

If you do want to sponsor me then please email me at tim_oakes25@hotmail.com and if not just add me to your msn (only if you're interesting or good looking though!)

If you want to find out more about mutende there is a link to their website about two inches to the right.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Value of Life

On the news this morning was yet another story of a drug that has amazing, special and secret powers to improve the quality of life to some cancer patients. Yet again there is controversy over its cost and which health boards will fund it. As we endeavour to research for better medicine, situations like this can only become more common. It seems to me that we are quickly reaching the point when our government will have to place a value on human life. My question is:

If and when it comes to it, how much will we be worth?

Will we be worth more if we live in the south?